Usually I have my titles short and punchy, related to whatever images I've collated from the Internet- so what gives with the sentimental and vague song lyrics? As of today, I finally have my probationary drivers license, it's a beautiful sunny day and I just so happened to catch up with a friend (alright fine, acquaintance) of sorts from high school. So there is no real theme today, other than reliving good vibes and enjoying a personal victory and the end of one chapter in the book of my life and the launch straight away into another. It scares me a little that I can drive by myself, which wasn't helped by the snarls of my instructor as soon as the evaluator was out of ear shot but I think easing myself into the adventure of automotary will be the easiest and safest way for everyone involved. Seriously guys, you might want to stay off the roads for the next few weeks.
When I spoke to that friend out of chance on the train, I felt really impressed by both our maturity; he always came off neurotic to me in that Woody Allen/ nerdy way but he spoke with the sophisticated air of small talk. Life experiences seem like a made up term coined by the work force in a mass conspiracy theory but I think I saw a glimpse of it from this guy. I knew him in a very nerdy context- we both did the school theatre production for a number of years until I quite when studies became too hectic and a tyrant of a selfish teacher took over. But aside from that, it's beginning to hit me just how much responsibility I have as a young adult; even now the teenage years feel like their waning like the last rays of sunlight on a cold day. I'm just a huge sap at the moment full of fuzzy feelings, but also totally clueless over how on Earth I can manage to drive unsupervised and not crash into anything. It's a combination of scary nostalgia I tell ya!
Also speaking of maturity, I cleaned my room all by myself! My boyfriend came over and sat in the corner just watching me pack away my mountain of clothes. I have too many clothes for one person. As a reward for my efforts, last night my dad shared with me his old song books from folk/ pop acts like Cat Stephens, the Mommas and the Poppas and Simon and Garfunkel. I'm most excited about Simon and Garfunkel one though, enjoying a 2 disc special edition of theirs through most of Year 9 and such fuzzy warm phrases as 'crayon rosary', their narrative pictures built through beautiful words and their soaring vocal harmonies. So I have mew fodder for my visual diary and incentives to pick up the guitar again for a good old fashioned sing a long. I'm waiting to save up for a camera upgrade before I document the glorious mess of my junk book- which will be a while now since I'm sufficiently broke after getting my license and selling out 280 clams. But bless me, my father payed me back every cent, as per the agreement held with my older sibling.
It may not sound like it, but I am excited about my new found freedom albeit a little scared and trying to shy away from the spotlight as much as humanly possible. Although just to put a damper on my spirits I couldn't find the car keys to change my car plates from L's to P's either so I have to enjoy that first solo drive. And my first drive as a P plater will be enjoyed in the company of my brother home from work since I am too lazy to work out how to park at university and where I can park. There won't be any immediate trips to large op shops in small country towns but perhaps small local pit stops in my local area, opportunities to volunteer at said establishments and from which avenues to explore and an Etsy shop to open. These are the pretty dreams and idea I'll hold dear over the next month of dreaded exams; it may not be much but it's all I got.
1- unknown, 3, 5, 8, 9, 10, 11.
12- Tim Burton with Winona Ryder during the filming of Edward Scissorhands, 13, 14-20 via, 21.
2, 4, 22-Clueless (1995). 6, 7- Sue Lyon in Lolita, photographed by Bert Stern for Look Magazine, 1962.