Sunday, January 6, 2013

White

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Last night I sort of had an epiphany/ revelation/ reveal-my-soul moment to my boyfriend where I explained my greatest motivations and sort of why I blog and looking up to Tavi. It was pretty awesome. I also rampaged all over Etsy looking for cute home wares things I would like to display on a mantle piece when I finally move from out from home. It feels like a like time from now but last year flew by so easily I'm not going to rule out anything. Today I drove for a total of two hours, ate so many Malaysian dishes celebrating my brother's twenty-fourth birthday but the best bit was discovering a two page spread on naked mole rats from a science magazine I have. That's right, Ron Stoppable's pet from the animated series almost has a nerdy, science equivalent centre-fold editorial space in a magazine I have literally had for years. I don't think I've been so excited to read something in a long time.

Image Source: USA. Virginia. During civil rights strike in America. A party to introduce blacks to whites. 1958. Eve Arnold

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I'm sort of bouncing off all the walls lately- there's a lot of soaking in and absorbing music and reading other blog posts with magazine clipping in between but still very little creative juices flowing. I'm also reading lots of apology posts so I'm not alone floating about in a fishbowl of other sad and unmotivated people. I usually don't sit around and wait for lightning to strike- I find my own lightning and tend to make things happen for myself but I don't have much money, little space to store things and no job. Instead there's flicking through decade old video games and playing through familiar scenarios as I bask in the glory of an air-conditioned room to evade the blasted weather. I am also slowing sewing things by hand; think of the Meadham Kirchhoff cartoon heart face but as two black appliques with lace. I plan on sewing them to a shirt I lifted from my mother's room and placing them square on the breasts. It's going to be gloriously burlesque, cheesy and sick as all hell when worn under a camouflage jacket. If I ever buy a camouflage jacket. I'm so ridiculously slow on trends it's not even funny anymore

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I could have almost owned my very own chinchilla when I was a kid, which makes me a bit sad because I didn't realise how soft and puffy they could be. He looks like a guardian angel from a Japanese cartoon Manga series if he had like a tiny halo or something to make him look special. I think it's the distinct circles of fur gathered around the arms and neck and the contrast of pink nose and claws, white fur and shiny black pearl eyes. I'm not sure what noise they're meant to make but for arguments sake it is 'squeak' and for arguments sake when I was this little baby pop up on my dashboard I said 'squeak' instead. I missed the chinchilla though who was grey and named Barney and I got rabbits thanks to scouring the local classifieds section of the newspaper. I never dressed them up in embarrassing little outfits but then i saw their star-pulling power and potential on other blogs and regret not being that kind of annoying and drearily boring pet owner I could have lived up to.

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My mind is a fog blanket at the moment; it is official. I have a free day of the house to myself in two days but I don't really know if I want to commit to pulling together outfit posts and whatnot or if I'd like to just enjoy quiet solitude. Ideally I'd hang out and try to talk to people about big, important issues and then just the casual small-talk or nonsensical banter. Writing things down when you're sweating tends to leave sad little warped pock holes on pages which could have been so beautiful and that makes me sad. Also my sewing makes my hands feel weird and strained. It's funny, I can sit and hold a pen for hours and hours everyday but after fifteen minutes of sewing I need to stop, knitting needles are even worse because I am such a rookie beginner and don't even get me started on scissors when slicing through anything tougher than normal paper. I think it's official- I am the queen whinger.


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