Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Feelings

Image Source: Smashing Pumpkins

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I have very mixed feelings about this new  phone (from which I am currently writing) at the moment.  For one thing it seems to be able to read my mind and automatically comes up with the word I am looking for which is evil but it makes the process a whole lot quicker. I never found an autocorrect system that i liked until now. And when using the stylus to write it does not create crazy interpretations like the electronic planner on The Simpsons. "Beat up Martin" will always secretly mean "Eat up Martha". On the other hand I don't like having words put in my mouth.  Also since it's been a while since I had to do mathematics properly I could be charged in excess of either three or thirty dollars. It's the not knowing part which kills me. It's a good thing I got three, potentially four shifts this week to fill the empty void that is my life. But I could have listened to the radio countdown the best tracks of last year, finished off all my library loans and written more... oh well. Live and let something or rather. Or in my case run until it hurts and try to keep blogging for as long as possible before I collapse from exhaustion underneath rescued blankets from the thrift store.


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Although I have tried not to shower my readers in daily complaints and laments, when you don't go out much and don't have work either there doesn't seem to be a lot else you can do really.  I'm the teenage equivalent of a cranky old man who spends his time writing strongly worded letters. But in this case the world is my daily newspaper or magazine. Today's pet peeves include my long and unruly hair being a large detriment and being off put to colour it due to peer pressure. It's a pretty perfect way to change up an appearance but it still has a lot of commitment and dedication involved. My hair is realistically black and the amount of peroxide required to make it take to any colour is frightening to think about. I don't want to chop it myself and have uneven sections flopping about a la 500 Days of Summer but sometimes when you get fed up with something getting rid of it seems like the only solution. If I was good at braiding and had the time to weave and section bits and pieces then I would love to but following YouTube tutorials in the past has brought me nothing but heart ache. I don't want to be susceptible to such bitterness again. This is all targeted at knitting by the way- I want to learn but am just too thick to try and teach myself. So this is when my boyfriend's family steps in to intervene with me all of which I am more than happy about.


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Speaking of good things coming up as well as knitting lessons, the loan of many good books and DVDs and a sewing machine in tow I have maybe six weeks or so until the massive Soundwave festival kicks off. Woo! Then I can buy and shred band merchandise t-shirts to wear with all my skirts and stuff for university and can be uppity and stuck-up because I WAS THERE. I'm excited and pumped, it will be my first music festival so that's kind of like a mild 'virginity' being taken away from me as a music fan. I don't know why I am in such a sour mood since nothing really caused it, but I do want to connect with a rougher and tougher scene and maybe some piercings in my baby. Except I am a cry baby so in reality that's not going to happen but if I can find some nice and sterilised safety pins then they'll probably be shoved through my already existing punctures. This is a super cute piercing, but it sort of reminds me of staples and when my mother saw it she literally said "Oh, you're into ears now. That's a nice ear" and of course my reply was a spluttering laugh like a sick exhaust pipe because she missed the point entirely which is so like her.


Image Source: Friends

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Even though I have many dissected magazines to work with at the moment and some material that would look great together my mind refuses to cooperate and collage with me at the moment. Focusing on colours seems to difficult when I haven't cut up all that I wanted and my materials are very distinct in taste: either Science, Astronomy of Fashion. Weird fields to bring together but it's kind of fun. So now I'm just re posting things like always I find nice and soothing to the soul because my scented candle is pretty brain dead. Which also makes me feel a little sad, but when next I feel competent to leave the house I'll go to the craft store, hopefully get more hot glue gun "bullets", material to sew and some cheap candles to make my room more like a shrine and that final scene in Baz Luhrmann's 'Romeo + Juliet' but minus the poison. My room is an explicit no poison zone thank you very much.

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Image Source: Tavi Gevinson's Instagram?

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I think it was a couple of days ago now that my father absent-mindedly mentions "I never got to have a mid-life crisis" to which I replied, "Congratulations Dad! You'll be one hundred and twenty years old!" and he kind of shook his head at me and then proceeded to leave. Although I think the media and stuff preys upon the ageing process a lot, as a young person it's possible to have anxieties about the person you're becoming with puberty changing you and peer pressure and what not. Handling all that stuff takes time and not everyone will be good at it, but if you have good people you'll be OK. Or maybe they'll just clasp their temple dramatically and also crisis along with you too and then you'll be connected like two spiritual souls.


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Image Source: Harry Potter

Image Source: Fantastic Mr. Fox
At this point I know I am loosing all coherence so as I await with baited breathe for the washing machine to finish so I can go about my day untethered I think I'll have Harry Potter movies playing and The Darjeeling limited in the background to consolidate on all the weird ideas I have at the moment. Also I'll add many buttons to the outfit I am currently wearing before I show it off to anyone because I feel confident in the finer details side of outfits making them more special. Just like my hero Ash here- he's got a cape secured with a golden safety pink, badges on a white sweater and wore a sock on his head for most of the movie and still had a pretty cool, misfit kind of vibe going on. I really liked it. And how he awkwardly related to girls and associating lab partners as something more. In reality- I am Ash. But I also hit an, already run-over fox driving 110 km/hour the other day and cringed behind the wheel for about five minutes whimpering. As it turns out, I could never be really as cool as Ash ever was.


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