Saturday, December 15, 2012

Unicorn Poop

I survived work yesterday and it was terrible; the humidity made our basketball walking deathtraps of slippery doom and of course the teenage boys wanted to ignore it. Then today I went to a friend's eighteenth birthday party and I swear we had some of the most annoying drunk girls hound and harass us trying to steal drinks as soon as they were set down. I was reminder why I blog on a Friday and Saturday night instead of going out because it is a painful experience which makes me gnash my teeth together in contempt. So here's some pretty pictures of flowers and glittery girly stuff instead because when I feel in an inconvenient situation by something it's best to brainwash and deprogram myself anyway. Why else would I have the complete collection of Daria DVDs waiting for me at home? But today I think I'll watch Adventure Time and try to make my first Rookie DIY Crown since my sparkly blue pipe cleaners arrived this morning and all I need is E.T. the alien to complete the look. Girls look for white knights in shining armour- I look for an awkward alien with magical touch.

A jewel as bright pink and bulbous as this could never be found naturally within all the Earth's resources, but the image still makes for good inspiration to an aspiring geologist such as myself. Or I can envision a new type of cat burglar/ sexy bourgeois female villain stealing from museums and then using the pointy end of the gem to gouge people's eyes out. Of course I come out with a comment like that when listening to the opening music from the Edward Scissorhands movie... I'm just in a gory mood at the moment alright? There's not enough motorcycle themed jackets and leather in my wardrobe to properly harness all these feelings I have right now, plus my hair is a minor mess from last night and I just want to glue pipe cleaners to headbands.

I wish I was genuinely prematurely grey all of a sudden with my long black hair turning to brambly wisps of white and frothy smoke streaming from my head. The small braid on the side of this girls face just makes the look even better and despite that jumper being a nightmare to wash in terms of it's many holes like a fine cheese I would adore having a spider web knitted jumper to wrap myself in on bad weather days. I'm biased towards cold and wet weather anyway because it gives you an excuse to drink copious amounts of tea/ coffee/ hot chocolate and lie in bed all day in fuzzy warm socks. It's like a sick day but without having a dribbly nose, a raspy and wretched throat and you can even wear your better clothes. I['m not wild enough to dye my natural black hair such a light shade though since I'm convinced it would ruin it for a few years and I want nice wedding photographs so... it looks like I'll wait till I have the guts to do it. Or buy a witchy themed wig- then I'll have Halloween on Christmas.

If I wasn't so lazy/ antisocial/ focused on using my Facebook account to spy on people I went to high school with and for competitions I would change this to my cover photo. A dowdy looking girl that tucks her hands into her armpits in a vain attempt to hug herself and avoid contact with people: that suits me to a T. If she had a rabbit on her shoulder and her hair wasn't so neat, then that would probably be a little more accurate but we can't have everything in life can we? I know in my heart that modern society demands more of people's abilities to socialise, but I do love the time I spend alone in my bedroom reading or just sitting on the couch next to my boyfriend in silence. I'd like to think that I'm saving all my wit for an intense social situation but I know that's not true and I avoid scenarios like that on a regular basis. Lonerism 2013 here we come.

This is the first transparent image that has ever looked good on this particular blog *cries tears of happiness*. It just reminds me how much of a hippy my literature teacher was in high school and how she had a magnificent copy of Milton's 'Paradise Lost' which she apparently used to pres daisies in when she was a kid. That's just a little more fancy from when I was pressing flowers rather badly against the money phone books we keep stored in the magical closet of mothballs in the hallway. The last thing that I pressed to preserve was a four-leaf clover which I later gave to my boyfriend as good luck from exams but it just lives in his sports bag at the moment. The best acknowledgement of a gift like that is realising after all this time they still have it, they carry it with them so much the plastic petri disk cracks and is taped over and over again and it's always there in omnipresence.

There must be a thousand million denim jackets, jeans and shirts littered across this peculiar blue and green planet, but in reality every wardrobe only needs a maximum of one each. Well, multiple jeans can be good but I myself am trying to climb out of the trap of wearing boring jeans, sweater, shirt every time I go out with more cute skirts, hosiery and vintage trousers. Then I'll sell my old jeans and have no choice but to cross over- just like how I stopped wearing Vans all the time and got the best out of my Dr Martens boots. As much as you would enjoy having an entire rack devoted to denim jackets and weeding out the perfect piece for an occasion each day, in the real world things are only arranger like this in upmarket vintage stores that predatory pick out the best second hand items. Damn it capitalism.

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