Thursday, November 15, 2012

Boys

*Disclaimer: You do not have to believe or read from this point on. As much as I hate the notion of being like those shitty teenage girl magazines that focus on issues on how to attract boys I've been handed a lot of good images to pool together on this topic and I'm all weird/ high/ moody after being spoiled by my boyfriend on a pancake afternoon date. I'm not a professional, I have only dated one guy and am no where near being qualified in therapy. This is just based on my personal experience.

The first caption I thought of when I spyed this vintage Halloweeny poster was "Hello Boys!" voiced in an absurd way, but it sort of generated a conversation all of its own in my head about how guys perceive girls, how girls perceive themselves to look in front of guys and how this affects confidence. Boys are people, that is often and important point when asking someone cute if they will be so kind as to tolerate your presence and let you sit down at lunch or for a phone number. Also, you can find gems of boys in unexpected places and within boys who's first impression didn't convey how truly amazing, sweet and kind-hearted they are. Whether you think you're a bombshell of a lady or a decaying corpse with reasonable ponytails and you are intrigued, read on...


If there's one thing that Tumblr loves, it's a young Leonardo DiCaprio. Just look at him! He's pretty adorable huh? That's why he features not once, not twice, but three times in this post. In his younger years he's particularly notorious for sweeping the ladies off their feet and sort of saving them from cruel aristocratic family lives but deep down, he's got a skeleton on the inside and as much as we idolise them, it's never a good idea to put someone on a pedestal. If you talk them up too much mentally it makes them that much harder to talk to and approach which can often lead to some interesting stories for you to look back and laugh on when garnering more maturity. But some of us don't want rich, lifetime experiences that will haunt us forever while we fight back with humour. Some of us what that hottie we just met alone and in private ASAP. I recommend using whatever approach you feel most comfortable with and techniques you know to work; failing that buy the nearest bottle of the perfume world's sensation Sex Panther and be ready to dazzle. Or doused by men in hazmat suits because your perfume smells like pure gasoline. Whatever floats your boat.


If you ever decide blurting out the truth; the truth which can be too much for some people to handle and they respond with something as cold, bitter and bone-chilling as "Don't be Dumb", then guess what? They are missing out on the awesome package that is you, and they are all the poorer for not having get to known you. Intimately or otherwise. Sometimes people aren't looking for a relationship and are not emotionally/ mentally prepared to cater to someone else's needs and prefer to act like an elusive lone wolf and that's fine. But just because you don't see someone in a certain way doesn't mean you have the God-given rite to be an asshole to their face and shatter their confidence.
"Empathy, empathy, put yourself in the place of me"- Adventure Time.It's hard to admit to someone you like them and admire them in that way- while you may not want to engage with them at least reward them for being emotionally heroic and let them down gently. Please guys, be kind to each other.




If you so desire, make creepy shrines. I still occasionally find those stupid tests where you count the number of vowels in your name and the number of vowels in someone else's name, sprinkle holy water on the list and then generate a number of how compatible you are. Yeah, it's amusing and incredibly fun and for those inclined, it can be a really good creative outlet. But if you accidentalyl burn down your house because you lit candles within your closet and refused to put them out as a symbolism of your devotion and dedication towards the apple of your eye, well... maybe your parents would be a little annoyed about that.
(If there's a world shortage of heart sequins within the next week I will personally hold myself responsible and never dare to give advice EVER AGAIN)
Because, you know, they are the heart of the nation or whatever and super important to eight-year-old-girls and me.





Famous last words: if you already are cool/ soft grunge/ Kawaii/ punk rock, continue as you are and just keep rocking it. If you don't think you're as rad as you could be or see a little more potential left to really sparkle and attract boys like a 50 megawatt bug zapper then fake it 'til you make it. Think back to all the 'getting to know you exercises', barbecues, interviews and just about anywhere else you have had to make or have borne witness to first impressions. In situations like that, not everyone is as cool and relaxed on the inside as they appear on the outside. As corny as it is, you have to believe in you and sell yourself like a common used car salesman in order to make anyone else see the true you and respect/ like you. That's kind of the last big secret and although you may doubt me know, if you aren't fully confident and a bombastic super star when it comes to conversations just try it until something works. Don't be afraid to be yourself, or wear straw hats and sunglasses because protection from UV Rays is important too.

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