Tuesday, September 25, 2012


Today is my happy nineteenth birthday; everyone on my family is at work and I never bothered organizing anything because everyone in my family is at work, a few of my good friends are inter-state, my university friends are on a field trip and my boyfriend has fallen sick since I saw him yesterday. So this is what it feels like to be Harry Potter and not have anyone special in your life to share special moments with- I don't like it. My mother has been reminding me all week long that this is my last year as a teenager which feels like a massive cheat considering I only discovered Rookie magazine this year, haven't be one a popular and talented teen fashion blogger, haven't cleaned my room and made it super cool and pimped out with cat shaped teapots and handmade crochet blankets... Yes I think my life is ending because my teenage life is ending; are there any do overs or ways I can go back and time and have been cool when I was thirteen years old? Probably not sadly. Also, last night I searched for Polly pocket jewelry last night and went to bed at half past ten. On top of everything else I have to deal with, it feels like I'm having my mid-life crisis already; excellent.
On top of being too old to enjoy teenage girls delights, I'll be unable to enjoy dyeing my hair wild colors without being judged to the max on the streets when talking about town. Considering I took massive pride in having virgin hair and keeping it free from dyes and peroxides lightened I'm pretty bummed out at the moment. My father might not be so happy if I were to talk in with green hair some sunny afternoon, but he did say a few nights ago that I should be allowed to do what I want and express myself freely and dress like a weirdo. So, despite all my grumbling about no longer being eighteen, being marginally older does have its advantages as far as influence among my parents is concerned. I'm still not that keen to try and push the boundaries though since I could probably be properly kicked out of home for it now...

By the age of ten I already thought I was too old to be a child prodigy... I realize now just how stupid my logic was and that I would give anything to be able to be ten again and have my glorious teenage years stretched out in front of me; I could have taken an avid interest in mechanics and be a grease soaked girl living out my days under cars and in overalls or have the chiseled physique and bruised feet of a ballerina. Instead I chose the path of a girl now terrible at shooting hoops and a pretty miserable basketball referee just dreaming of the day my final shift ends. The good old days where when nurturing and maternalistic primary school teachers assured all the boys they could become professional football players and we were all going to become whatever we wanted. Then reality kicked in... 

In other weird girl related news on how super mature I am and have the mindset of a young adult, I've come to the conclusion that I really want an iPhone 4 because there are lots of wicked cover cases that I like on Etsy which include silicon teddy bears with ribbons, kawaii plastic food and icing that looks extremely excessive as well as sailor moon uniform inspiration plastic covers. This does not at all seem like logical and adult reasoning for wanting technology, the conclusion I have come to is that I'm doomed to be a teenager at heart but I've only got one year of justifiable dumbness before people can waggle their tongues in disgust at my behaviour, not having a license and weird taste in clothing and accessories.

I can see the next prequel drama series to follow in the wake of Desperate Housewives to be Desperate Teenage Girls, a series about a gang who skip class to smoke in the girls bathroom of a small American high school in the suburbs who turn to a life of graffiti as a forum for public issues. Also a life of kissing boys and dating some seriously shady and questionable characters might make for an interesting agenda to young feminists... Till then I'll personally hunt for pink permanent markers in addition to iron-on patches and glittery pipe cleaners OK? God I miss the competition of scrawling in pen and naming names of beautiful in my own high school. 

There will be no mad cow partying from my today since I have a stinky excursion tomorrow that I need to wake up early for and buy bakery goods to eat for lunch, no headbanging or ponytail whirling and no whipping of hair back and forth either. That's all just a bit sad since my mother has pretty much banned me from having any house parties out of shame and disgust at our tiny house, but maybe I wouldn't have fit into the dark and grungy garage party scene anyway of make-shift eskies and drinks being nicked from one another. There'll always be the pain and agony of never knowing if I could have fit in to that popular people scene and whiled away many a Saturday night drinking till I can't remember the next morning. On the plus side I haven't had to deal with mysterious vomit stains, hang-overs or mastering how to bounce back from a big night out.

I'll be saving my cup of coffee for later today when I need to concentrate on busily preparing for group assignments and disciplines SPF strongly, biology and geoscience... Yes I am possibly the dullest person in the world- why else would I be celebrating my birthday alone while watching cartoons, still in my pajamas and not really planning on eating anything special today. I'm trying to cheer myself up with the solace that my twenty first birthday is going to be totally excellent and the bitter taste of loneliness and isolation is going to motivated me over the coming year to GET SOME FRIENDS! 

1 comment:

  1. Try turning 20. That one really sucks.
    and it'd be alright being harry potter if you then got to go to hogwarts eventually. i'd put up with everyone always missing my birthday if i got to go off to hogwarts for the rest of the year haha.
    Anyway i know how you feel when it's suddenly like "SHIT! I'm so old, I've been waiting to grow up all this time and now I'm suddenly way older than i want to be! go back! go back!"
    still.. happy birthday ;)