It feels strange, almost surreal for someone like me to be coveting cigarettes- my mother won’t let me out of the house and into the sun even on a cloudy day without wearing the most ridiculous looking hat in the house and layers of sunscreen. She already fears that my skin has become damaged and is cancer-headed from childhood and everyday sun exposure. I can only imagine that if I took up smoking it would be nuclear fallout at my house. I’m not even too sure myself that I do want to smoke- I’m not really myself lately and I’m just lusting after pink and pretty feminine things; including pink and pastel coloured cigarettes unfortunately.
I suppose I’m under the impression that when poised with a pink cigarette between my fingers and perched on my knuckles it will look more like a sugar stick held by a pixie than a fallen angel working the tough guy angle. At the moment I seem to be forgetting the bitter taste it leaves just by smelling second hand smoke as well as the dangers of cigarettes both short-term and long-term. My father had smoked for ten years, long before I had come along or he had even met my mother, much to her surprise. While she had known he had smoked in the past she had never really imagined it was such a long stint. I guess that’s one of the dangers of picking up smoking, I hear on and off about my boyfriend’s family trying to quit smoking over and over again. It just doesn’t really seem all that possible.
I don’t have the same old black and white, good and bad view of the world that I once had as a child. Everything and everyone has their subtle shades of grey and no one’s ever truly perfect, so while I still tease people who smoke mentally with my conscience invariably shouting “Smokers are Jokers”, I don’t think that smokers are bad people anymore, it’s just a choice they’ve made in their life that I personally will never make.
I’m not clamouring to hang out with people smoking and get a good whiff of second hand smoke and I still mostly hold my breath when walking past someone on the street but I guess it’s something I’m getting a little more used to after having spend a few hours at parties around people smoking. That doesn’t mean that I enjoy it, I’m impartial if I have good conversation and the company of friends with me but as a child I was always holding my breath when walking past smokers on the street since I grew up without tobacco smoke in my system and I guess that’s the way I’ve always aimed to keep it. I would never date a guy who smokes, the taste would stick to his clothes and breath and I wouldn’t be able to stand it.
As pretty as all these pink smokes look, I don’t think I would ever take the plunge and take it up myself, it’s a bad habit that ruins your nails, skin and teeth and those are all some of the few features that I actually pride myself on when it comes to my appearance. Also, as my boyfriend has so wisely advised me, smoking as well as alcoholism and I have enough trouble as it is keeping up with the pretty clothes, jewellery and bags I want to buy without another distraction getting in the way of me saving for a holiday and towards moving out of my parents’ house.
I think another reason that I don’t smoke is the area I grew up in and the high school I went to- out of my year level of one hundred and fifty plus students I would say under ten of the students smoked regularly at lunch or skipped classes to go out for a smoke compared to many other schools and stuff. It’s just the area I think and the fact that none of my friends’ parents and siblings don’t smoke a lot either so there’s definitely a lack in that rebellion and smoking culture. I’m not crying out at the injustice of that- heck I’m thankful I didn’t get hooked as some young people do. I already have enough trouble keeping a good hold on my fitness and looking out for myself without a whole mess of other factors to contribute in.
I can be thankful that my hormonal raging mood will probably go away and I won’t be in such a weird, pink and pastel loving mood and overlooking the fact that I generally hate cigarettes (generally). I can only imagine the problems some girls must have in finding pink cigarettes let alone feeding their addiction daily and weekly. It would cost a ridiculous amount of money to keep yourself rolling pink cigarettes but for some I guess it’s just how they get their kicks. I’m thankful I live in an age where I can hold my head up high, get a girly drink from the bottle shop or at a bar and it’s common these days but tragically I think girly cigarettes are lacking in a market and are marginally less popular then say, a Vodka Cruiser.
Another cool thing I get to miss out on from not smoking is cigarette lighters, and while I will probably never master flicking it properly and getting the liquid lighter to ooze out, I have seen some very pink and girly glittery lighters from Tumblr. It seems so contradictory, the childish gems and glued on glitter for something so dark, gritty and adult. That's the twenty-first century for you.
The micro-blogging website TumblrSobraine Cocktail and Vanille. There’s also some strange Mexican brand- but if I know Mexico then that cigarette won’t be 100% tobacco… No matter what your poison I assure you I won’t judge and if you ever have smoked a pink cigarette, I say ‘Good for you! At least you can say you’ve tried it’ but I think I’ll stick to my addiction of fashion and jewellery. That hasn’t yet killed me and I’d like to keep it that way.