Tuesday, December 6, 2011

I look up to you

The thing about friendships is that they are sometimes hard to maintain- despite all your longing to make it work out together people grow apart from one another and they float away like hapless Summer clouds. I was friends with a girl and we became close from extra-curricular activities such as SRC, the school production, playing guitar and singing along with each other. Since the monster of VCE took over my life I let everything I love get away from me and put it aside to give myself the best chance of increasing my score to apply for university. I do regret it though, I have so much to catch up in terms of driving practice and reading great books and taking photographs and everything else. My blog posting suffered too- but I am catching up on it.

It's a strange scenario to find yourself in when you look up to and admire someone that is younger than you. Partly because of Western society and other Eastern cultures having the firm belief to respect your elders. But there is nothing wrong about holding a younger person in a lofty position and giving credit where credit is due. I admire my friend, she seems to have achieved so much and is incredibly book smart but also creative and sings classical music in Latin and German. She's wild and out there- a really free spirit and I don't think I will ever meet someone else like her in my life. That's the sad thing about growing up and growing apart from people I've met in school- some of them are irreplaceable and I know I'll think of them every so often and heave a sigh.

My friend moved schools in the middle of high school, but quickly made new friends. Some of which take photographs of her and the results are really stunning. I guess I'm a little bit jealous of all the places she's gone to, the luxurious life she seems to lead and the photographs she gets to star in. Her sense of style is strong and she also has a strong sense of self. At about the age of fifteen or sixteen she organised her own concert to help children with Autism in Sri Lanka and asked me to play a few pieces at it. It was an honour and nice to spend time with her again.

Sometimes it can seem so easy to make new friends but the level of commitment to maintain said friendship can be hard. I once read that the level of a friendship is not measured by how much contact two people have, but the ease at which the reconnect to each other even over the space of months or a few years. That gave me comfort, since I can reconnect with this girl. Given the time to ponder and think upon it though I am somewhat sure that it is too late to properly rekindle the platonic friendship. 

One-of-a-kind have a certain charm and allure to them, it must be all the knick-knacks my friend has collected and the way she incorporates them into her daily life. There's nail polish from when she was seven, vintage pieces she's uncovered from dusty Op Shops and things from her mother as well.
She has a really cool watch too- the second hand is a cat that moves around the edge of a watch and chases a mouse. I was really impressed with that, far more impressive than any swatch watch I've seen so far.
I wonder, is it ever really too late to restart a friendship if there was never any water under the bridge so to speak? Drifting apart is painful, but I never did argue with her so I wonder what she'd think of my gently coming back into her life...

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